Do the Deion Shuffle or Help Someone Want To
Side giggers might not get the Sunday Scaries since they are always working
The Sunday Scaries. I guess that is a thing for those who work the typical five-day rotation. Something funny I just thought – is that those who work seven days a week, you know, the full-time job + the side gig, probably don’t get the Sunday Scaries. But I had a rare moment the other night in which the number of things I had to process for the week ahead was overwhelming for a couple of hours. One of the things that we talk to staff about in Therapeutic Crisis Intervention for Schools is how important it is to have that person to talk to when stress, anxiety, frustration, fear, or other negative emotions hit.
Everybody needs that person.
Put the phone away. Listen. Be with your friends and family. And don’t worry - Facebook will still be there for you when you are all alone.
On Sunday, my person reminded me of some important things that hold true for us in our adult lives, and for our kids who we want to be in the most excellent emotional place for learning and friendship. Five, four, three, two one…right from the book The 5 Second Rule by Mel Robbins, I was reminded of exactly what I needed to do to move from procrastination to productivity. Most people don’t know this, but procrastination is a response that comes from stress. With or without knowing it, we replace the things that cause us stress with things that don’t. Surprised? It shouldn’t be a shocker that we avoid things that bring us negative emotions.
Five, four, three, two, one…Get up and go.
Go send the E-mails. Go do the laundry. Go mow the lawn. Go read the article. Go write the paper. Go and cook. Go clean the kitchen. Go to sleep. Run. Lift. Go grocery shopping. Go pay your bills. Go clean the garage. Count backward from Five, and when you get to one, go change you thoughts . It works. Then, there is the reframing piece. This helps too, but it is hard to do it all by yourself – which is why talking to someone is really helpful. But you have to find someone who listens to you actively, with no phone in hand. I mean really listens. These folks are getting harder and harder to find, I know. Some people just communicate better through Facebook posts than face-to-face, I guess.
Just for fun, tomorrow night, go to any family restaurant and walk around. Go from table to table and count the number of people who are sitting with their children or with a would-be loved one holding their phone and looking at it, as if there is nobody else there. It is unbelievable. So, when you find that person who will listen to you, talk to you, hear you, and give you helpful feedback, without criticizing you, you should do the Deion Sanders Griddy (without your phone in your hand).
It looks like Ja’Marr Chase did the best PrimeTime Shuffle
Here is what I got on Sunday night. After I talked about the woes of an up-and-coming 60+ hour work week, it was time for me to listen. My friend who works in healthcare said, “You know I get like that too – especially when I know I have more patients to see than I have time to see them.” Light validation works on everyone – especially kids by the way. “Then I think about all of the people I am going to help, and knowing they will feel better makes it all worth it.” And that was it. It was a Eureka moment. My brain instantly switched from the pain of working a lot of hours to the joy of why I chose a life in education and service to others. I heard, “Think of all the kids you are helping, Michael.” And that was it. My negative emotions were turned into a beam of light. Amazing.
We must remember this when our kids come to us with an issue that vexes them. By simply listening to how they see their world, and identifying how they feel, they can feel better with some validation. And because you’ve established yourself as the “person” your relationship becomes stronger. Then, guess what happens…they learn better what you are trying to teach them. It really is amazing.