George Can’t Get Remarried to Wilma Without a Time Machine

How’d these two meet?

Did you like cartoons when you were a kid?  I certainly did.  I wonder if they shaped my life or thoughts in any way.  Let’s see…there was Mighty Mouse, Woody Woodpecker, Tom & Jerry, Josie and the Pussycats, the Jetsons, the Flintstones, the Smurfs, Scooby Doo, and the Super Friends.  So, there was a mouse that ran from a cat, another mouse the cats would run away from, the future, the past, blue things, and a dog that talked…kinda.  Probably not, although I absolutely loved the Wonder Twins Zan and Jana.  One could transform into water, steam, or ice, and the other could turn into any animal.  Ingeniously, they went from place to place as an eagle flying through the air with a bucket of water in its mouth. 

My son has transcended the cartoon age limit, and I am grateful.  I wasn’t really a fan of Caillou or the Bubble Guppies.  Dora wasn’t bad, though.   There is likely an interesting story in the evolution of cartoons from Bugs Bunny and Elmer Fudd to Peppa Pig.  But let’s get into the Way Back Machine and meet a rarer character – one you might not have ever heard of.  This character’s name is Bert the Turtle.  Available in black and white 70 years ago, Bert was an instructor of an important lesson for kids in the 1950’s.  The lesson was what to do if a nuclear bomb were to detinate in their vicinity.

Admission to this is free - you should check it out!

The kids who watched this needed to know that a nuclear bomb could really hurt them.  Nuclear bombs cause burns, and can even knock them down.  Nuclear bombs can shatter windows and have a brighter flash than the sun.  This is important stuff for an 8-year-old.  Beginning his TV career in 1951, which was also Mickey Mantle’s rookie year – Bert had a simple message.  If you are outside when you hear the siren, get indoors fast.  If you are indoors, get under your desk.  But just in case they weren’t aware, and this is important – the kids needed to know that there could be times when atomic bombs go off rather unexpectedly without the sirens. 

Bert was born in 1928.  He turned 95 this year, which seems old to us.  But this is the early 40’s in turtle years.  So, we gotta find him.  If anyone knows where Bert is these days, we need him.  The question that we have to answer, with Bert by our side, is what we need to warn our kids about now.  It seems as though atomic bombs are less of a concern in 2023 and there are other matters the little ones should be informed of. 

Bert would be pretty busy these days, wouldn’t he?

In his early days, he was focused on a danger that mysteriously lurked in the sky.  Today, might Bert be focused on the danger that lurks in the palms of our kids’ hands?  Or is it what they eat and drink?  Strangers?  Clergy or Youth Leaders?  Inorganic foods?  The water in Flint, Michigan?  School shooters?  Bullies?  Hazing?  Grand Theft Auto?  Helmets?  Seatbelts?  Maybe just the importance of sleep or talking to someone when they feel down. 

Although 190 years old - still a proud winner of the race against the hare - He bragged about it in a post on Insta

Hopefully, over the years Bert is now a little more tech-savvy, and he can make his video shorter to put on TikTok.  If he can talk fast, before his viewers can swipe up on him - that’s also ideal.  And, if we can give Bert a sweet enough contract, maybe he can do some work for adults as well.  Fred & Wilma Flintstone and George & Janey Jetson just didn’t get it done for us, did they?